It’s been a while since I came across one of David’s books, but I’ve been busy! So busy, in fact, that I thought a nice break would be to sit down at my local library and read some jokes, But look what I found, (ironically??) placed in the humour section!!
Just a couple of things:
- It’s cool how you call out your competition, but calling people who use Rosetta Stone “Rosetta Stoners” was actually kinda mean
- I thought “laff” was just a “funny spelling”, but inside “laugh” is spelled variously as “laff”, “lauff”, “laaf”, “laaaf”, and “läf”
- Cuneiform and Egyptian hieroglyphs evolved in different areas of the earth, at different times, and most likely evolved independently, so all that Egypt stuff on your cover is, like, wrong
- holy crap, David, this is the fourth time you’ve done this??
- finally, and perhaps most importantly, WRITING ENGLISH IN A CUNEIFORM FONT ON YOUR COMPUTER IS NOT WRITING IN CUNEIFORM.
Also, all these jokes seem to be plagiarized from old Reader’s Digest “Humor in Uniform” sections and OH WAIT NEVERMIND I GET IT
This book is an OBVIOUS FALSEHOOD by RYAN NORTH and I can tell because:
- The title’s foward-facing drop shadow doesn’t respect the light being cast by the Outer Glow of the first line OR the numeral. There are a lot of terrible things that I might do in life, but mix up drop shadow directions is NOT one of them;
- Actually that’s all I have.
Ryan, in times like these, I’m reminded of the ancient Mesopotamian proverb:
When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature.
Did it work? Well, one time, as I proudly puffed away at our NCO club, an older
sergeant growled, “Hey, kid, your candy bar’s on fire.”
- James Bushart, Cassville, Missouri
Well, Ryan, TODAY I must assert that it is YOUR candy bar that’s on fire. For shame.